Steingarten for President

'This time I was not 100 percent apoplectic, because it seems pretty clear that trans fats are really bad for us. On the other hand, what about pie? I do get extremely upset when I think about pie. Isn't a ban on trans fats the functional equivalent of a ban on piecrust and thus upon pie itself? Pie is the key to a contented life. I simply cannot manage without pie.'

-Jeffrey Steingarten